What is your Legacy?

My dear Nana passed away peacefully on Monday 25 March at 6.07 pm surrounded by family. Diana Lorraine Mills was 90. It was a life well lived, and although I couldn't be there at the end I had luckily managed a flying visit in January. I had feeling that would be the last time I would see Nana. I still have a vivid image of her smiling and waving to me as a I drove home. She had even given me a pocket knife to take. Such a Nana thing to do. I think she has probably given me 4 or 5 pocket knives over the years.

Nana always loved the water

My grandparents and particularly Nana, have been a constant and steady presence in my life. They even followed us to Australia and settled not far from where we lived. Nana actually flew out from the UK with me in 1989 before my grandfather joined her later on. She was a great travel companion and always had boiled sweets on hand for soothing popping ears as the plane took off. Nanas are handy like that.

Nana was an airforce wife in the 1950s and 60s, raising the children while my grandfather flew aeroplanes for the Royal Air Force. It must have been difficult at times, but she had a quiet determination. I suspect that quality was instilled in her as a young girl who was evacuated to New Zealand with her three sisters during the second world war. She was great with languages, she had a sharp mind and good sense of humour. She once told be she could have gone to college in France but sadly it didn't eventuate, as marriage, children and the RAF life ensued. She used to teach me French phrases and words as a kid, but unfortunately I haven't inherited her language acquisition genes.

As I go through the emotions that we all experience after losing someone dear, I am reminded just how lucky I am to have had such a close relationship with my grandparents. As a teenager on the weekends I would often cycle up into the hills to visit them. I would mow the lawn or wash the windows and stay overnight. Nana's home cooked meals and deserts were perfect for a growing lad needing the fuel to cycle home again. I am pretty sure Nana worried about me on the roads but she just told me to stay safe and always supported me in whatever I did, be it work, study or sport. She was my ally. She knew my deafness was a challenge, but never suggested I couldn't achieve anything I put my mind to. I have been reflecting on Nana's legacy. She leaves three children, seven grandchildren and six great grand children. Although I say so myself, we have a pretty interesting, diverse and talented family, and I honestly think that is about the best kind of legacy you can leave. As my partner and I watch our own children grow and form close bonds with their grandparents, that really seems to hold true.

But what is your legacy? What are those beliefs and ideas you hold close to your heart? For me, it is the idea that everyone should get a fair go, no matter what their background or ability. That is what drives me. I love seeing people succeed, especially when the odds are against them.

"But what is your legacy? What are those beliefs and ideas you hold close to your heart? For me, it is the idea that everyone should get a fair go, no matter what their background or ability."

Recently I heard two people say they had teachers who told them in front of their classes that they weren't up to standard. One is a disabled man with high needs and the other is a woman who struggled with literacy due to illness when she was a child. That a trained professional can do such a thing and think it is acceptable defies belief. The irony is that both have gone on to gain steady employment or self-employment because they believed in themselves. In reality those misguided opinions counted for nothing. Positive action speaks volumes.

I have had my fair share of challenges in finding and keeping jobs over the years, so I know just how demoralising it can be. But I have also learnt along the way that we all have skills, abilities and lived experience that make us valuable and even sought after by some organisations. Sometimes figuring out what those skills are how to leverage them can be a bit daunting. Poor self confidence and self esteem can be a major barrier to finding employment or starting a business, because in order to appear confident in job interviews you have to believe in yourself first. Add in factors like prejudice and unconscious bias around age, gender, sexual preference, ethnicity and disability and sometimes it might seem like the odds are stacked against you. But it is important to stay positive and back yourself. Somebody out there will value you for exactly who you are. Your legacy could be anything you are passionate about. For some, that might be raising family or being part of a community, for others it might be finding employment in a specific field, building a career or pursing special interests. Whatever it is, if it makes the world a better place and benefits the community as a whole, then it's worthwhile doing.